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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Acceptance...

My confidence is poor, I've become a bore. All these feelings I never dealt with before. I'm your attention whore straight to the core, but still can't unlock your door. You disapprove of the reason I'm sore so you disassemble my rapport and grind my feelings into dust on the floor, but with a rebel yell my masochist keeps screaming MORE!!
I've got a burning envy inside, but no choice not to abide by the rules and laws that change with the tide. So I sit here with my hands to the side, all teary-eyed, and swim laps in the pool I cried because the truth is I lied. And even though I'm not dignified I don't have to hide from the feelings that I find difficult to confide.
Then the bottom falls out and my heart drops, all emotions come to a stop. Everything in my life suddenly flip-flopped and I'm no longer on top.
Nothing is as it seems to be and all this change confuses me. I thought for once that I could be free, but that only happens mentally and I don't have the capacity to fight for it continually. But that was something I couldn't see, it just sneaked up gradually. Now I have a hole in my heart times three.
Blinding darkness reverts me to my previous state and I leave my destiny up to fate, the consequences are too great. So I just close my mouth around your bait, solemnly for the hook I'll wait, silently feeding off your hate until at last there is no escape and the damage comes too late for me to calculate and I finally learn to appreciate.

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